The Apple TV+ comedy — which ended after three seasons in 2023 — deserves an award for 'Most Incredible Inspirational Quotes on a Series'
Ted Lasso premiered on Apple TV+ on Aug. 14, 2020, following the titular character's journey from coaching football (the American kind) to leading a struggling and demotivated English soccer team, AFC Richmond.
Just as the kind-hearted coach — played by Jason Sudeikis, who won back-to-back Emmys in 2021 and 2022 for the starring role — managed to make his way into the hearts of his vengeful boss (Hannah Waddingham), players, and community, the ever-optimistic dad stole audiences' hearts, too.
Even though the show ended its three-season run on May 31, 2023, diehard fans and beginners alike can stream all 34 episodes on Apple TV+ to witness Lasso's leadership skills — sprinkled with the coach's many Lasso-isms, lessons and quips that vary from profound to hilarious and everything in between.
However, if you need the highlights, here are the best quotes from each season that have earned a spot in the Ted Lasso Hall of Fame.
1. "I know folks are divided on the actual police these days, but all human beings are opposed to the laugh police"
2. "Don't sell yourself short. If anything, sell yourself tall and get it altered later."
3. "I'm like an incomplete list of Madeline Kahn's best films. I ain't got no clue."
4. "You watch, from now on, I'll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. Except I won't die immediately after using my stinger."
5. "You know what my favorite thing was about Sir Isaac Newton? He was so down to Earth."
6. "Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong."
7. "As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get."
8. "I do love a locker room. It smells like potential."
9. "I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right."
10. "If that's a joke, I love it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."
11. "You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why? It's got a 10-second memory."
12. "If the Internet has taught us anything, it's that sometimes it's easier to speak our minds anonymously."
Related: 'Ted Lasso' Star Toheeb Jimoh Opens Up About the Cast's Close Bond: 'We All Saved Each Other'
13. "I think that you might be so sure that you're one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you're just one in 11."
14. "I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids."
15. "It's just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air."
Related: ‘Ted Lasso’ Season 3 Finale Sees Its Cast Find the Happiness They All Deserve
16. "If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain't nothing you can't get through together."
17. "Your body is like day-old rice. If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen."
18. "Ice cream is the best. It's kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live. Never disappoints."
19. "I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that's being alone and being sad. Ain't no one in this room alone."
20. "There's two buttons I never like to hit: that's panic and snooze."
21. "I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we."
22. "If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn't have invented numbers."
23. "I've never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it's all part of growing up."
Related:
24. "Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson — on a high!"
25. "This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn't be able take my eyes off of it, either."
26. "It's kind of like back in the '80s when 'bad' meant 'good.' "
27. "You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't want to hear it."
28. "I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one."
29. "When it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear?"
30. "Believe."
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