Chapter Text
Another day, another supply run. Around Mercury's Bend, there were a fair share of low-class urbworld farming settlements that more or less took advantage of the permanent summer and short calendar year pretty well. Plenty of rotating crops, beautiful farm towns growing specialty crops that were basically all that kept their economies relevant... In other words, ripe opportunities for students of the Intergalactic Logistics industry to apply for and earn their commercial pilot's license.
Problem is, Intergalactic Standard Time is a pain to account for when running between ring-based timezones. Even the best of pilots dedicate most of their lives to running uncertain or unproven routes, and only the most dedicated could hope to break out of it and run the whole thing. Throwing whole years of their life away behind the wheel, losing sleep and years of their life from stress.
For Maggie, though, it meant that she had to rely on circadian sleep pods and autopilot to adjust... and more than she was comfortable to admit.
Even now she found herself under the heat of it. Only, not her boss, but rather actual heat. Hottest part of the galaxy, in fact, she was just grateful she knew her way around because it was her and Felix's homeworld. Not the most uptown place she could've known well before moving out, but it was a familiar sight. No doubt, this could be a great point on her resume should she apply for a real industry giant like Icarus.
"Hey sleepyhead, don't fall asleep at the wheel here. When you got Eric on board, he's watching the radar like a hawk." The man of the hour, here he was now. Felix, the handsome Hyena of black and gold. Also, Maggie's childhood friend.
"Can it, airhead. It's my turn to drive, so if it's not an emergency, Boss can live it."
"Bold words for a Rookie! If he heard you, you'd be outta here faster than you can say '¡Vamanos!', ya feel?"
"That fart's past his prime anyways. You know we only got the internship because his job was all the MWGB subsidy would let us take on."
Nobody else was willing to pay junior pilots for an internship because of how essential and high-paid they were. Thus, it is a really scary barrier for entry given how by now artificial intelligence should've taken over the need for them. Thankfully, people are more resistant to solar flares.
But the real problem here wasn't just the tech - it was the people themselves. Pilots were like billionaires - either already born into it, or sought out by corporations that would use their talents like a showdog. Only, these people were responsible for the supply chain of the entire galaxy. They were heroes. And Maggie and Felix? They were just dudes, figuratively speaking.
"I beg to differ. There are plenty of options for good piloting internships, you just gotta know your limits, Maggie." Felix got up from leaning against the wall.
He maintained a surprisingly chiseled form through his pilot's outfit, despite it being too big for him. Waltzing up to the goat, he booped her on the nose. She retaliates.
"Easy for you to say, airhead. You already knew what you wanted to do and had family's prissy-mommy connections to do it. I had to decide last minute. I didn't have the gift of time like you did, and now I don't have the gift of choice either."
"Whose fault is that? I'm sorry if it's harsh, I'm just saying you ought to be glad you're here to begin with. Not everyone can say they passed the permit test on their first flight, y'know!"
Maggie crossed her arms and huffed. Her red eyes pierced him, clashing with her cream-colored fur and blue uniform. It was like her forehead was twice the size of her face... or maybe that's just when she got angry.
For Felix, what he just said was NOT the right thing to say to her.
"You're a jerk, you know that? No empathy for others." Maggie's arms remained crossed, and she turns away from him.
Suddenly...!
"Aye, aye aye! Whot're ye kids yappin' aboot? Don't get comfeh becoze yer' on mammeh's doorstep. Ye got eh job teh doo!" The walrus was in. Not to say he was a bad or ugly guy (even if he was), just that he was an actual walrus.
"Eric! Welcome back. How are we on breaktime? Almost time to get back to it?" Felix flashed him a smile, like no argument happened just now. He was always the good boy, never really knew why he and Maggie stuck together if they were polar opposites.
"Dain't ye knoh I told yeh not to teek yer breeks at teh same tame?! Fer 'eaven's sake, keds, 'yer kellin me! Yer gunnae cresh me demn shep 'ere!" Eric pushed his way up to the console to check the logs.
However... things were just as they were. Proper alignment, velocity, landing gear priming, radar checks... the works.
"I was working on my break, sir. I take it easy all the time, I just do this because it's what I love."
"That's a boldfaced lie, Flatty. You know as well as I do that that's a lie when you say it with a straight face like that! If you loved piloting so much, why don't you marry it?" Felix poked Maggie again, who this time violently swatted at him.
"You don't know me! Shut up, airhead. And stop judging me! I'm self-conscious..."
"Breek eht up yeh two! I'll tehk eht from 'ere. Yer not readeh fur landen' yet."
Maggie looked back in shock. Her heart sank, like she was somehow in the wrong with Felix even if that wasn't what this was about. "You too?! What's wrong with you, I did it all correctly! I can land it, I've simulated it a thousand times right before... c'mon, man!"
"I jaest daen't truhst ye, I dun't keer that yeer on yeer lahst week weth meh befoor another sed sep pecks yoo up. Ye guttah werk ahn yeer ahchitude fuhrst, ked." Eric slid the chair Maggie was in down. The whole ship was basically scrap at this point, so the chair's slider was slow and didn't go very far. Nothing was up to date compared to other ships, but these two wouldn't dare say it to his face.
"Fine! Whatever, we'll get ready to offload."
Maggie angrily turns around, Felix lightly reading the room and seeing what he did wrong.
"Maggie, wait! I'm sorr-"
"I said can it. Let's just get this over with. I'll notify ground control, you can disengage the airlock and prepare the cargo hull." Maggie pushed Felix as she got up. She was significantly shorter than him, but only because he was 6'4" and she was a 5'11. Despite the height difference, though, it was the slight that cut her deepest. Maybe she just needed a breather to extinguish the inferno within her.
"Aww! But I hate the airlock! You always do this, seriously!" Felix whines, leaving him following after Maggie. Felix was never one to have the best self control, and it showed in his actions. He was truly spoiled rotten, given a silver spoon in mouth his whole life... God! Why couldn't she just have become a engineer, teacher or politician or something? Why did she have to pick the same path as him?
Eric finishes the landing gear prep, and sighs as the two leave angrily. "Amehteurs... I geass that's whot eh sahgned uhp fewr..."
He flips a few switches and adjusts a dial or two. Nothing Maggie couldn't have done..."...Whot wes oll thet 'geft of luxureh' tolk aboot, annehweys? Beck een mah dey..."
---
Decompression. Deep breath.
The unloading crew arrives as Maggie punches out, and Felix not long after her.
She kept her pace up such that she could ignore him and find the nearest hotel once on the ground. No way in hell she was returning to mom and dad's, that's for sure.
The ramp slopes from a crisp, sanitized cargo hull smelling of dust and mildew to that of an Australian outback. The sounds of cicadas, the rustling of leaves and that permanent breeze... hell, clouds were looking nicer today too.
It was convenient enough that they were in their neighborhood. Or at least... about a quarter mile walk from it.
Maggie finally sighed a deep sigh as she got to feel the hot summer air again.
To be honest? Hard to think this place was inhospitable 1000~ years ago. Terraforming sure is a modern miracle - and Ozone Tech too for that matter. Glad she and her generation has the Asteroid field at the very least, no pun intended.
And then his voice caught up, and the venom filled her once again. Like she could bite any moment, a viper holding back the intent to kill.
"Hey, for real though, you good Mag? You're not lookin too hot, did what Eric said put you down? ...Did what I said put you down?" Felix tilted forward and looked up at Maggie as they walk side by side.
Maggie was looking at the ground with intent. The grayish red soil and yellow grass made her forget of the golden skies and the massive sun in front of them.
"It's nothing. Don't talk to me, just let me go home."
"It's never nothing, Maggie. I'm sorry if I was rude to you back there, I was just trying to be realistic. I even complemented you! I don't ever mean to put you down on purpose. You know that."
"It's not that either. Please don't assume how I feel." Her eyebrows furrowed again. He had about as much self-awareness as a dethawing frozen caveman - too little up top, too late to matter.
"Oh... You're right. I'll stop. Sorry." Felix felt the pang of guilt in him. Was it the autism speaking, or the ADHD? It was always something with him, and it was why he never kept many friends outside of his current clique. Even then, birds of a feather flocked together. He was popular in the Disco scene recently, or so Maggie heard on the grapevine.
Maggie bit her lip. Felix never knew when to put himself in the shoes of others. Memories of resentment filled knowing the whole village went out of their way to fund her education, all because she had ties and was a star athlete. But... when did that change? And why was it her that changed? Where the money go? And the trust, for that matter?
Felix stopped, looking back and forth at Maggie and the rural, dirty city of Aster ahead. "Aster's same as always. The hyperdrive boom did a wonder on this place, y'know? Lots more rural and urban development going on now. Lots of people moving out, too. I'm sure there's something new here all the time, but..."
Maggie braced for impact.
He then turns to Maggie again, putting his paw on her shoulder. "Hey, you don't have to go home if you don't want. Place is still a dump, anyways."
Maggie shoved his hand off. "...And do what instead exactly? The next Galactibus won't be here until tomorrow. You know on-demand rides won't come to the far side, right? No demand for this hot hellhole, clearly. That's why a junker like Eric's out here, and not some big shot at Icarus." Maggie turned, frowning and feeling a fluid, gravy-like anger fill her and gestate in her gut. She felt like throwing up. She had to breathe, or she would blow chunks.
"Maggie, you don't have to feel obligated to stay today because of family. You live for yourself now, and I know you don't like being back in the community that treats you like... like the way they did."
Maggie stops, swatting his arm off her shoulder as he tries to go back in after not learning his lesson. "But what about you?! You're all I have left here, nobody else wants to talk to me! It's like I'm some kind of... foreigner to them, or something! And why am I stuck with you of all people, anyways? Is it because I changed? That I betrayed everyone?"
Maggie felt a stinging in her face that second.
Felix slapped her.
"Stop saying that, Maggie! It's not true! You don't owe them anything, do you? I'm not smart, and I'm not a great guy... but you have Mika, Lotus... Archer and Drake too! You don't know how good you have it, you need to be glad you made it this far - that you're behind this place!" His voice got fierce for a moment, but Maggie was simply lost.
"I..." Maggie was clearly distressed by this. Her eyes trembled and her mouth quivered. "No... you don't get it, Felix... I... I don't have anyone. They don't... want... me."
Maggie stopped, her knees and muscles grew weak, and Mercury's gravity pulled her down to said knees. Her hands covered her eyes and face, because her sobbing made her makeup bleed. Drops of black on her hands like she was experiencing Hemocompression. 'And maybe I should,' she thought, because nobody wants her. Nobody reaches out to her, she was a foreigner to her own home. Her own friends...
Noticing this, Felix's eyes went wide. A pang of guilt again, a cracking voice, and sharp breaths of his own. The gravel road was no place for this, but at least it had its solitude. That didn't mean much, though, when loneliness was the problem here to begin with. And the feeling of nihilism... it was so easy to accept.
Arms wrap around Maggie, and another wave of regret washes over him as he cries, too.
"Maggie...! I... I'm sorry. I don't... don't know what came over me! I just... I-I dunno! I hate it, too. I hate it when I make you sad like this... I'm sorry."
Maggie experienced 'freeze' where she could've had 'fight' or 'flight.' Her breathing quickened, then slowed. She was unstable. She could work out all she wanted, but even physical therapy, antidepressants and psychiatry can't answer all her problems.
And she calls herself a boxer, a self-defense expert... she couldn't even deflect him. He let himself in, she didn't ask for any of it. But...
"It's... it's so stressful. I have so many bad memories of this place-! That's why I... I've been so grumpy, I didn't look forward to coming back here for the gig, and I... I-"
Maggie coughed, spitting and snotting. She gasped for breath. "It's like I don't even know you! I feel so guilty, I'm in no place to talk. And... you still hate me for that, don't you?"
Felix held her tighter. "Maggie, we've known eachother forever... I don't care what you're like inside or what you did, you are who you are. We forgive and we forget!"
Maggie finally hugs back, light and weak. "But I'm a freak, Felix. Nobody could love someone like me, not even you! I was violent, I was an outcast. And I still am! Look at me... I'm so alone, but I'm so afraid of meeting someone and ruining their trust."
He speaks into her ear, quiet, as if trying to calm her. "I know, the people here don't understand. You weren't weak for doing what you did though, no matter what they thought. You didnt betray them by acting the way you did. You knew it wasn't for you, so you rightfully prioritized becoming yourself first to move away from it, and now your secrets are always safe with me. Always. Always as someone to talk to. Okay?"
"*sniffle*... Okay..."
Felix comes back around to the front after letting go, holding her shoulders for the third time and looking her in the eyes. His golden yellow eyes and face were warm and loving, looking into the windows of her soul in rosen crimson. "Maggie, you're one of my best friends. I'll be there for you when you need it, okay? I'll call you Maggie always, that person inside you isn't you anymore. You're stronger now."
A familiar feeling and memory hits her, reminding her of good times. And... other times. But... she did feel better.
"Felix... I..." Maggie let go of him and stepped back, looking away from him. "I wanna go back to my place... But where would I even go? I can't show my face around here anymore, all my friends that made it worth it are gone anyways."
Felix smiled and laughed dryly, like he needed a glass of water, "Don't deny yourself your happiness because it's getting late, Magpie. You don't gotta take that Galactibus, girl! I'll just ask my mom to lend me her Shuttle NX. I'll fly you home."
"What?!" Maggie jumped back in shock from the sheer gall of it. "But... that's too expensive! Would she really let you fly it for such a busily-routed trip?" Maggie blushed, one paw on her other shoulder. "A-and you don't have to call me Magpie. Cute pet name still, but I've outgrown it."
Felix laughs, poking her to try and cheer her up. He truly was a dudebro, through and through. "Sure thing, Magpie!"
"Man..." Maggie sighs. Why did she bother holding her breath?
"...But really, though. It's not a hard trip if it's with you. And my mom's chill! She'd lend it to me even if I had to grab groceries. Plus I can afford the flux, we're on a economic fuel expansion these days I hear!"
Maggie turns to him. He sure did love running his yap!
"Shut up, nerd!" Maggie elbows him, she had almost forgotten all about him slapping her a minute ago. He started laughing, in fact, so she continued. "You're not slick, bub. You think just because we kissed a couple times that I can ride with you alone!"
Felix backed off, putting his hands up like he was about to say 'back off!' "Woah, no! That was yeeeeeaaaarrrss ago, I'm a bit more partial to dick these days if you ask me!"
"So what? You're telling me you suck dick with those lips too, now? Big man, I see!" Maggie elbowed him harder this time, smile on her face all the same.
"Fine, fine..."
So they turned to the left. Maybe a walk through the Savanah Parkway would lighten their mood? It was on the way to their destination, anyways, so they might as well.
---
Felix's mother's place is a modern mountainside beachhouse on the far side of Aster, which was already far out anyways. You truly can't get more remote than this.
The roads were more sparse and the trees deader, but the view was to die for. It stood right on the path to the peak of Crater Hill, though it was more of a peak than a bump. The crimson-gold gradient sky and clouds showed a shockingly clear view of the stars around them, even during the late afternoon. Perhaps the UV barrier was to thank for not baking them alive this close to the sun?
Felix's parents must've either been really wealthy to decide to live on the far, far side of Mercury... or just plain stupid. Or both! Actually, probably both, given his disposition.
So imagine Maggie's anxiety when she remembered... she hadn't spoken to his mother much at all since her transition.
"Mom! I'm taking Maggie home! You mind if I use the Shuttle?" Felix shouts to his mom, who was on the top deck smoking and drinking with a woman her age, likely a friend of his father's he didn't know. As a businessman, his father had lots of connections he didn't want part in. Many a playdate crashed in youth by an appointment at home, or paid babysitter during business trips with his wife.
At least... before he passed away, and his mother took on the family fortune. That filthy gold digger...
"Jack's here? Hi, Jackie-boy! Been a while, come on up sometime, we miss you~! We still have your ATV in the garage, never left! Ride with us and Felix again sometime, okay?"
Maggie tensed up, feeling sheer psychological pressure on her for being called her deadname in front of a stranger. Albeit, a stranger she may never see again. Unless, of course, she was Felix's mother's latest mistress. Then she would never forget it.
"Told ya, mom! It's Maggie! If you mess it up again, I'm not asking for permission or telling you next time." Felix, thankfully, was Maggie's bro. He had her back at all times, even if he screwed up a lot.
"Sure, whatever honey... but be back before dinner. And don't go too fast, watch your surroundings out there! I hear solar flares are worse these days, so don't go wrecking my baby! Ohohoho~" His mother croons, her dinner friend laughing with her. She sounded like the mermaid witch from that one children's movie, looked it too - if she were a Hyena.
"Drunkasses..." Maggie mutters under her breath.
"But *I'm* your baby, dammit mom! I'm worth more than some shuttle. But... You're right. I'll be careful!" Felix presses the button to open the co*ckpit, putting his hands to the door to let Maggie in. "Shall we?"
"Grow up." Maggie snickers, doing her best to ignore the slight just a moment ago. Still, that would sit with her the rest of the day.
---
Maggie sits in the comfortable passenger seat, and breathes a heavy sigh again. Lots of sighing with her! "Ffuuuuccck..." She sprawls out, not caring for modesty. Not like her work outfit did her any favors, though, as it was too big for her pencil figure anyways.
Felix pops in and buckles up. "Righteo! Sector 5, yea? Can't miss Jupiter, I suppose."
"It's not in Jupiter, dumbass, it's in front of it."
"Okay, smartass."
"Okay, airhead."
"I'm not an airhead! You keep calling me that, what gives?"
Maggie laughs, putting her hand on her mouth as she giggles. "Oh, you know. You call me Flatty, it's only fair."
Maggie pulls out the starmap, pointing in the direction of Sector 5 during this solar cycle. "Really, though. Big dome, massive continent of a city. Can't miss it."
"All sectors are domes, dummy. I've been to my share of house parties."
"Yea, I bet in Sector 1. You know they found out recently that The MWGB organize our housing options by class and criminal behavior, yea? You were getting laid with ex-convicts I bet."
"Sounds ludicrous. Still can't believe nobody knew till recently. The MWGB sucks..."
"You're avoiding the question."
"I know my rights, officer. But you do have a point, sh*t's f*cked out there."
"Well, the thing is that nobody thinks injustice exists these days because of advanced law enforcement integration. They also don't know Aster exists."
"Nobody thinks Mercury exists at all. It's all about that Venus crowd, or maybe even Neptunians."
"f*ck Neptunians. They get all the praise for living in a permanent tundra hellscape and making TV shows about series' over 1000 years past their prime. sh*t's not Neo-Hollywood, either."
Maggie hits a vape, kicking back and disassociating.
"But see, Felix, they don't care that people built a wholeass inverted world inside Jupiter's cloud! Its a feat of science, man, it's not hard to understand apples from oranges. Talented people to loudmouths."
Maggie sits back from her rant as the Space Shuttle finally finishes warming up. A lot smaller than a commercial masterliner, but still always a scary flight. Good things Felix's mom loves the latest models, Maggie's fading car-tism phase was simply singing right now (since it carried to shuttles as well).
"That's the Milky Way these days, Mag. Considered moving far out, but that's expensive. And really risky. No satellites or stations as frequent as in here. Also less law enforcement."
"I take that as a win, though. Some of my friends live far out, and their families are all space pirates and sh*t. It rocks."
"Easy for you to say. Then again, maybe I'm entitled."
"..." Maggie gave Felix a look.
"Sorry! Sorry."
Having exited the atmosphere, the space heaters and gravity-wells kicked in. The pressurization made their ears pop, but the high-end model made the ride seamless and smooth as they enter the vacuum.
Entering hyperdrive, Felix has to stay quiet and focus as his projective satellite radio detects structures or debris, and autonavigates around it. Ironically, for all Maggie loves about flying cars and shuttling, she had never experienced hyperdrive herself before. She held onto her butt, terrified and wide-eyed from the rapid particle acceleration at play.
"Slow down, dude! It's not a far flight, you're gonna get hit one of these days!"
"Maybe you're right, but I'm a pro now, Mag. I know this route like the back of my hand, and we're gonna be in a low-traffic solar phase soon. Lots of ongoing circadian sleep cycles starting at this moment I bet."
"Easy for you to say, airhead. Maybe you belong in the vacuum. You apparently know so much about it, after all."
"I resent that. My grandfather died in a decompression accident, you know."
"Your grandpa was also a rampant space-capitalist. He ruined so many lives to give your family the fortune it has now. You can't say sh*t."
"I'm paying it forward! Plus you're my friend! And I'm not a self-absorbed prick, I practice humbleness and wanna distance myself from this life. You know this! You know this."
"You also suck dick."
"I also suck dick."
"Oh, rich airhead... How am I friends with you?"
"You know you enjoy being around me~"
"f*ck off."
They finally come into view of Sector 5.
Often called The Middle Sector, or Sector of 1000 Sights, Sector 5 is easily the largest commercial sector. Especially for visitors and tourism. It also housed the galaxy's largest casino! Or legal casino, that is. We don't talk about Pluto, that's been a lost cause for a loooonnnnggg time.
People who live here in Sector 5 either got their foot in the door with the Astromeda Dormatory Program as university students and never left... or they work a ruthless 9-5 desk job and are on the verge of suicide.
Guess which one Maggie is?
Actually, don't.
Felix slowly pulls into the port and lightly powers down, decompressing as they enter the dock's master airlock. They finally find a platform at the high southwestern lot and park. The air here was clean, but very sterile. Like most non-organic stations, one would suppose.
"Your Uber has arrived at your destination!"
"No it hasn't. I still gotta catch the train to District G, Block 8. Probably another 40 minutes for me, at least."
"The flight was 30 because I'm a good flier. I can be back home before you in time for a video call with the gang if you want."
"Don't risk your life for that. You know I don't do video calls anymore. Plus? You almost fried your EMP field because you drove right through that energy cloud past Earth's Moon."
"It was a calculated risk."
"I wasn't even in a hurry, dude! Chill. I appreciate it, but you really gotta stop."
Felix stopped and considered her place. He then sighed. "You know what? Okay. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more careful."
"Don't try, just do it."
"Okay. Sorry."
Getting up after unbuckling, Maggie hugs Felix. "You know I still love you, right?"
"As a friend?"
"As a friend."
"Me too, Magpie."
"Good. I'll be safe if you are, too. Tomorrow I'm hitting the gym again."
"Ooh, got a hot date?" Felix sounded way too enthusiastic for this. "Send me some progress pics when you can finally cut cheese on those abs. Or when you go back and give in to that weird desire of yours~"
Still talking about that? What a tease. He's such a dick~
"My abs are gonna cut you first, jerk."
"Hot."
"Shut up! I'm going now, tell Drake I said hi."
"I'll kiss him for you."
"He's your not-boyfriend, dumbass. Kiss him for you, first. Or for him."
"We'll see about that. He's not my boyfriend, after all, just a friend who I kiss. But... can do!"
Maggie steps out, her bags in check.
"See ya later, punk."
"See ya!"
Felix undocked and decompressed one last time, getting in gear and slooooowwwlllyyy leaving the dock. As if he knew Maggie was watching as she walked away.
"Loser..."
He honks at her twice, and she flips him off with a smile.
---
Words wouldn't suffice anymore. Rush hour was in full spring here due to being in sync with Jupiter's own timezone. The nightlife was real both there and here to say the least, and all the androids and barkers came to life to sell you things you didn't want.
Maggie knew better because she knows their tricks from her bad experiences when she first moved in. Thankfully, it meant she could likely catch her train fast, otherwise she wouldn't be home in time for Jerma the 53rd's Stream tonight.
Maggie walks out of the station and into 23rd and Platinum Street. Lots of good Asian restaurants, as well as scrap shops and the occasional slum bar. Lots of homeless people, too, but only on the underplate of the street by the sewageways. Needless to say, she wanted out fast.
She did a light jog, struggling to hold her bag at the same time. She kept to the car-side of the road such that salesmen during the red-light hours didn't try to sell her illegal cybernetic sex augments from the alleyways or establishment entryways.
She finally makes it back to a sense of normalcy when she finds the underpass, where the busy nightlife marketplace was held by Electric Chinatown. She liked stopping her to buy vintage CDs and band memorabilia, but she never liked the caricature artists and book salesmen. They just rubbed her the wrong way, and they had the same problems as the rest of Platinum and 23rd.
Finally, she takes the steps up the underpass to get by the platform. Lots of depressed businessmen as expected, several wasted from late barhops and happy hours demolishing their paychecks. Then there were the young people, usually punks and pirate wanna-be's that probably run the supercomputers by daylight. Chances are they were here because they had too much money and too much free time, like a billionaire trying to pander to an audience that doesn't want them. Jerks...
It was the city of two faces, Sector 5's southwest quarters. The real highlights would be the tech supercenters where appliances and modern tech conventions are held, all on the highest roadways above. Granted, it was a pain finding elevators around here to go up that were in service still. This was due to drunkasses slicing themselves in half by their midsections with the doors. Needless to say, they swept that one category of incidents under the rug, but the fact that it kept happening was only more concerning. It was almost like an artificial security measure, as f*cked up as that was...
Thankfully, Maggie didn't live here. Maggie lived on the northeast side, where beautiful parks and romantic getaways were. There was the artificial resort Pocket Dream, which simulated an island in an offshoot bubble on a level visible far from Maggie's window. Needless to say, it looked fun, but too expensive for her blood, even as a local and pilot in training. She also had the privilege of having a room that connects to the outside walkway where Pocket Dream was visible, meaning she got to recreate that scene in her head from Blade Runner with the giant hologram woman whenever she wanted.
... she wondered why that scene in particular, though. Part of her did at least, but not the part who was willing to admit it.
---
The next bullet train arrives, and it was Maggie's cue to scan her pass and board. It was a better time than ever to get on her phone and make bad decisions.
For once? She felt like messaging her old friends over the Discord GC she muted. They were active all the time, albeit most of them hung out without her. Lots of photos and visits... but no Maggie. She was a lurker, all things considered, which was sad considering she had no other IRL friends in her opinion, only virtual ones.
fa*ggoat (17:29 IST): Anyone alive?
VampireBrat (17:29 IST): MAGGIE!!!!!!!
VampireBrat (17:30 IST): she lives :3
fa*ggoat (17:30 IST): Hi Mika 👋 😊
Deadsh00t (17:31 IST): Been forever Maggie!!! How you been?
Deadsh00t (17:31 IST): Sector 5 treating you well? Haven't lost any fingers I hope?
fa*ggoat (17:31 IST): I told you, I'm not involved with the mob, my friends in The Outer Rings just really like LARPing as Space Pirates
fa*ggoat (17:32 IST): Also stop assuming I'm in with the mob. I swear I'm not active bc I have a life
calculator toaster hybrid (17:32 IST): Were you in Aster just now????? Flix just told me you and him had a chat
fa*ggoat (17:33 IST): f*ck's he texting you for?
fa*ggoat (17:33 IST): Dude's running hyperdrive rn, his mom's gonna put his ass on a pike and display it
DrakenJosh Deluxe (17:34 IST): he WHAT
VampireBrat (17:34 IST): Was everything okay? How did your drive go with the old man???
fa*ggoat (17:35 IST): f*ck Aster. f*ck Felix's mom. I just wanna be by myself, and be who I wanna be. I don't wanna be who I was anymore.
She feared it would come to this. She hated being the center of attention, but knew she couldn't have online friends who knew her without that personal touch. 'Am I afraid of dedication,' she thought?
calculator toaster hybrid (17:35 IST): GIRL YOU ARE VALID YOU CAN DM US ANY TIME
calculator toaster hybrid (17:35 IST): you can crush the haters heads like watermelons with your thighs
Maggie audibly chuckled. Embarrassed, she glanced to see if anyone noticed, then covered her mouth with a hand for a moment. She was curled up on her seat, not even just legs-down, she looked like a shrimp.
fa*ggoat (17:36 IST): Don't talk about my thighs like that please. What I do with them are my business alone. /gen
DeadSh00t (17:36 IST): You're like,,, the one who works out, right? Mika loves you, she thinks highly of you
fa*ggoat (17:37 IST): Thanks Archer. Thanks Mika.
VampireBrat (17:37 IST): I DID NT SAY THAT I JUT SAID THAT IF ANY WPMAN COULD KILL ME I WOULD LETT IT BE HER
Classic Mika. So disconnected from reality that her job revolves around her bringing her delusions to life. Maybe that was the dream right about now, to be honest.
fa*ggoat (17:38 IST): No???????? I'm not killing anyone
fa*ggoat (17:38 IST): I still hit the gym. I get it. Please stop talking about my body like that. /srs
calculator toaster hybrid (17:38 IST): oh f*ck im sorry i was the one who said the watermelon thing
calculator toaster hybrid (17:38 IST): im sorry maggie. you got a gym partner yet? It's been months since we heard about it, no progress pics either
Maggie felt that sinking feeling again. This is what she was afraid of, that being who she was would make her the ugly duckling in a group of nerdy weirdos, like they had to pander to her because they didn't have any other common ground anymore...
Not to say that Maggie wasn't a nerd or weirdo, but her taking initiative with her life meant making some sacrifices. And now that she graduated, she had more time than she was willing to admit, so the internship was all she had going for her financially. All that was left was an empty void where nothing had filled it. It really depressed her, moreso than usual. One could say it made her feel suicidal, even.
And as for hobbies? Aside from that, she would rather not talk about it. Nobody would wanna hear it anyways.
fa*ggoat (17:39 IST): I don't do pics like that. I'm insecure. I just work out bc it's habit and I do it to forget my depression and anxiety.
DrakenJosh Deluxe (17:39 IST): Maggie listen if it's hurting you you don't gotta do it.
DrakenJosh Deluxe (17:39 IST): Being a former athlete doesn't mean you gotta be an athlete the rest of your life
DrakenJosh Deluxe (17:39 IST): I know lots of great groups in Sector 5 that help people form connections based on their identities. Being in HR rocks 🪨
Maggie gulped. She thought about what she told Felix, about... about him being her ex meaning he knows the things she likes. What friends would accept her if they knew she was a degenerate in her passtime? Not frequent enough with IRL friends to put it behind her, but not strong enough with online friends to come to terms with it. And in her mind? She could only have one. Maybe even none!
Perhaps she was afraid, thinking that dropping the grind meant that she'd go the opposite direction, and everyone would think she was some kind of freak for letting herself go willingly. She had a reputation to uphold. Her friends here even just admitted that it was her singular defining personality trait, more or less!
And as for letting go? N-not that she wanted the side effects. Just that... she didn't want people to get the wrong idea, should things get worse. Lean at 124 lbs, she was pretty proud all things considered. Why give it up? It was all she had going for her.
Maggie for once remembered to breathe... though she forced herself to continue as she nears her stop. After all, chances were it'd be months before she talks here again.
If she's not dead by then from exhaustion or self-neglect, that is. Or worse.
VampireBrat (17:39 IST): ^
VampireBrat (17:40 IST): Yea Mag you got plenty of hobbies you can pick back up! What about your garden, or your artworm?
VampireBrat (17:40 IST): artwork*
fa*ggoat (17:40 IST): ran outta money to buy fertilizer and ph tabs. I come first. And landlords closed off the rooftop, so I can't go back there anymore.
fa*ggoat (17:40 IST): also I don't talk about my art. Sorry
Maggie put her hand in her face. Everyone here was a freak, yes, but not like that. Not like that...
Her art was something only she could talk about, and it's a miracle Felix doesn't expose her ass. In more ways than one, she supposed. It was how she made ends meet when the MWGB didn't have her back with her stipend and pilot's subsidy.
DeadSh00t (17:41 IST): You do you girl!!! We don't judge, we really love you here.
DeadSh00t (17:41 IST): We miss you
That stung. She looked at the sentence in front of her, longingly and sadly staring at it
We miss you.
How do you even respond to that?
Maggie typed out what she was going to have be her final message, but hesitated.
"If you guys really want me around, invite me next time you guys go out."
She did have the heart to send it. How could she? Her hand on her mouth and her furrowed eyebrows said it all for her. She trembled, she needed sugar because he blood pressure was low and her head light from the heavy breathing.
She deletes the message, and types a new one.
fa*ggoat (17:43 IST): thx
fa*ggoat (17:43 IST): cya later guys
VampireBrat (17:43 IST): BYEEEE!!! ^W^)7
DrakenJosh Deluxe (17:44 IST): Bye Maggie! Say hi to Felix for me
DeadSh00t (17:45 IST): cya slugger
calculator toaster hybrid (17:45 IST): by!!!!
Maggie puts her phone down and sighs.
Why couldn't she just tell them? What was wrong with her?
"I gotta go to bed... I don't feel like dinner tonight." Maggie sighed, getting off and walking down the block to her building. Self-care was for chumps anyways. At least the food would be going to someone more deserving.
---
This part of town was much calmer at night given the Residential Districts are more legally-reinforced than the Commerical ones. Maggie checks the chat from there, and ultimately things return to how they were. Before long, even Felix joins.
Indeed, he was home before her. That asshole... even now he lied to her about flying safe! Then again, she can't complain, its like an arms race for who's trying to die first. Needless to say, neither wanted the latter to suffer, so it was more like a cold war.
"Man..." The gangly goat puts her phone away as to not stress herself out, for good this time. When Maggie makes it to her level, she happens to be met with two familiar faces also arriving home.
"Hey, gal! Welcome back~" Her sassy brownbear neighbor Sasha, a towering chunk of a woman, seemed to be arriving home. It looked to be from a grocery run with her girlfriend, Gwennifer, a classically-suited orange Fox.
"Oh! Hey ladies, how'd the date go?" Maggie for one was pretty glad she was matched with neighbors that had most everything in common with her when she applied for Sector 5 residency. It was one thing keeping her going, the sense of immediate companionship... what was that about Maggie not having friends IRL again?
"Greetings, Maggie. We had fun I believe. Wouldn't you say?" Gwen was very eloquent, but down to earth. All the qualifications for an aspiring businesswoman like herself... which made the fact her partner being a Good-for-nothing party girl all the more baffling. And entertaining.
"Yeah, yeah. I got to kick Gwen's ass in darts at the club, she can't hold her liquor at all! Hahaha... " Her raspy, smoker voice was like a campfire crackling at a camp in the woods. It's still a shock to see a girl from Earth's beautiful boreal highlands settle for a Sector instead, she probably already had it made out there, too.
That said, Gwen loved her for it. It made living in the cityscape feel less sterile and dead. It showed love and dedication. And most of all, something Maggie didn't have, aspirations.
"All I did was spill my drink, Sasha. I can withstand my liquor just fine, dear."
Maggie wryly smiles and points, her finger lightly trembling behind her facade. "You sound like an old married couple. Mainly though that's Gwen's fault."
"We have our priorities, Maggie. Somethings you simply cannot understand from surface level observation alone."
This cracks Sasha up. "Really? Because I see a lovely, lovely lady right here! And Maggie? You're lovely too, in your own way!"
"Oh you...~"
Maggie felt the sickeningly sweet aura from them in the air. As someone still struggling with the notion of being single, the reminders at all corners made it sting that much worse. And to be fair, Felix suffered from that too, albeit he had the luxury of a f*ck-buddy.
"So... after getting wasted clubbing it up... you bought groceries? At this time of day?" Maggie couldn't help but notice the Segar's bags, an odd choice of grocerystore for a couple trying to not blow their life's savings away with needless spending.
"Sasha's just nostalgic about Earth and Earth's goods, expensive though they may be. I don't blame her either, we're technically all from Earth one way or another, in a pathological sense." She had a point, but still. Just because Earth was their species' planet of genesis doesn't mean the plants there are nearly as good as from Mars, or Mercury for that matter.
"Well hey, you know how to manage your life better than me I guess. Bye, then."
Maggie opened her door to enter, when she noticed she was held back by the massive ursine.
"Hey! What gives?!"
"I ain't letting you go on those terms, twerp. You need to love yourself before you can love others, otherwise you won't have room in your heart to let others in."
"What?"
Maggie was tired of being lectured about the nature of love, frankly. What gave? Why couldn't she figure it out on her own?
"I'm afraid Sasha has a point, Maggie. You've been fasting, haven't you? You're a growing girl like we are, but you don't have to starve yourself. Your body needs to eat to fight on and become the strongest! At least, that's what I believe you desire. Correct me if I'm wrong!"
"Uh, *yeah* it's wrong? I just don't care. I need to destress and watch a streamer or something. I'll hit my vape and I'll be fine, nothing more and nothing less."
Maggie squirmed and eventually fell from Sasha's pinched claw grasp. "Suit yourself, Mag. But if you need us, you're always welcome with us on the town. We'll give you some nights you'll never forget!"
"And with your drinking habits, maybe nights I'll never remember, either."
"Hell yeah, Mag gets it!"
"You two are hopeless..."
"I was kidding! I was kidding, Gwen."
"Well, if you need us, you know where we live. I didn't mean to indict you, there, Maggie. Sorry."
"It's okay... I know you two care. Sorry for being a bad neighbor. Good night you two. I'll try to take better care of myself tonight."
"You best, girl! I got my eyes on you..."
"Good night, Maggie!"
So, for the final time, Maggie stepped away from interruptions this night.
The quiet hums of halogen lamps and a humidifer... she certainly had a pension for the Disco revival it looked. The tacky brown accents of the room with gold sought to make the metal-walled room look like an office break-room more than an apartment.
Maggie tosses off her coat, putting her purse down and taking a strong drag. Her legs were splayed out, and she now wore nothing but a sports-bra and leggings, her sub-uniform emergency-workout attire. Gets very hot, though, hence her current behavior.
Maggie gets up and picks up her clothes grogily, taking them to the laundry chute and entering her room. She found a water-cooler from her mini-fridge and downed one to at least put something in her stomach.
"Tomorrow's my day off... damn." She felt hollow saying it, no silver lining.
Plopping on her bed, she didn't even have the energy to toss her drink. She simply lied down before realizing it. "f*ck it, the stream can wait. I'll find something to do my commissions to tomorrow, maybe the Vod."
She grabs her medicine on the bedside table's compartment. Taking her dose of HRT and her antidepressants (as well as some melatonin), she turns the light off and tucks herself in.
She puts her phone to the bedside to charge, and turns over. Through force of habit, she tries to masturbat* to make herself feel better, even if briefly. However... not even enough sweat and imagery can stimulate her or what's left of her that can derive pleasure in her biological way. She sighs, feeling sweaty and sad, but at least she didn't have to deal with post-nut clarity making it worse. She decides to go cold turkey in a blue-balled sense, hitting her vape one last time.
This was every day for Maggie for the last 3 months. The internship drew to a close as it was soon going to be her responsibility to sign on with every professional she could find, but the stress wasn't unusual to her by now. It was 'normal.' And if that meant yet another internship? So be it.
... but what really *was* normal?
She could have many answers for that, but none would be good. So she felt it, whatever 'normal' was.
But little did she know, this would be the last 'normal' night of her life for a long, long time.
